I’m tired
And some days I need to rest
Cheer you on from the sidelines
Turn when you say “Look mama!”
Give you juice and gentle hugs
But on others
When I can
I’ll be your lift off
Hold you up by my feet so you’re flying
Tumble on the soft grass
Fling these bones into cartwheels and handstands
Chase you into giggles
Do it all again
Jump for Joy is a series on JTTG about small, simple ways to boost the joy in your life.
You're not the boss of me.
You might think that, as a writer, I'd be naturally inclined toward participating in a daily journalling practice and that, without effort, I'd be able to stick to a regular routine, greeting any opportunity to write with abundant enthusiasm! The truth is that I'm a haphazard, inconsistent journaller, at best. I'll get in a good groove of writing every night for weeks on end and then suddenly I'll fall off the cliff of responsibilities, descending into the abyss of tasks, emerging many, many weeks later with only a foggy memory of this little book here. So although I've kept diaries and journals for most of my life, it is not uncommon for me to start entries with "The last three months of my life have been busy. To recap..."
I've been trying, TRYING, to get back into the habit because I have found that when I stick to it, the practice of taking a few minutes every evening to write about what's going on (AND ALL THE FEELINGS) has an immensely positive impact on my life. My journal becomes a place to let things out - the good, the bad and the ugly - that I otherwise tend to keep in, and the practice of writing about how I feel about things, and the choices I'm considering making in my life along with their pros and cons, helps me to process what's going on inside my often far-too-busy brain. When I write in my journal before bed, I sleep better, and wake up with a healthier, more positive outlook on my life and any challenges I'm facing.
When I manage to write in my journal, I make it a point to end my entries with a list of three things I'm grateful for that day. This is not a revolutionary idea, by any means, and it is backed by scientific research that strongly supports "an association between gratitude and an individual’s well-being." In my experience, I've found that this exercise alone allows me to gain some perspective and set aside my troubles, at least for the moment.
Recently, though, I've added another exercise to my journalling routine, an exercise that I've come to think of as writing my "Ta Da!" List. Following my list of the three things I'm grateful for, I write a list of three things I did well that day (Get it? "I did this! Ta Da!" Corny? Yes. Clever? If you say so). My far-too-busy brain is exceptional at drafting long To Do lists but not so great at celebrating the things I actually do and this exercise helps me to do just that. These accomplishments don't have to be of the climbed-Kilimanjaro variety. They can be simple, simple things and in fact, I have found that acknowledging the seemingly simplest of my day's accomplishments is the fastest route to a sense of satisfaction and success.
Some examples from my journal of the things I did well:
"I washed my face"
"Laughed and had fun with the girls"
"Ate healthy things"
"Stayed calm with my daughter when she was trying my patience"
"Didn't beat myself up"
"Went to the park even though I was tired"
"(Mostly) had a positive attitude!" TA DA! You're welcome, family!
Several years ago, I came across what I consider to be one of my favourite things on the Internet. In a forum about "things you like to tell or remind yourself about when you have 'woe is me' moments to steer yourself out of self-pity/moments of weakness and back into awesomeness", contributor Zozo offers this gem:
"I start going down a list of my accomplishments. If my mood is particularly crappy, I'll do a lot of "oh, well, that doesn't really count," but I can eventually wear myself down by sheer volume, even if it means counting "remembered to buy cat food" and "emptied the dishwasher" as accomplishments. 'Cause you know what? I emptied the fuck out of that dishwasher."
I heart this 4eva.
This is what the "Ta Da!" List is all about. It's about emphatically celebrating your successes, no matter how insignificant they may seem, because the thing is they are NOT insignificant. These successes are important because, on the whole, our days are not made up of Kilimanjaro moments. They are made up of washing our face, and staying calm with trying toddlers, and emptying the dishwasher moments.
So go ahead and give yourself the credit you're due, and consider making it a daily practice to do so, whether in writing or not.
What have you accomplished today?
You gave the dog his medication. TA DA!
You didn't eat the entire bag of chips. TA DA!
You emptied the fuck out of the dishwasher.
TA fucking DA!
Jump for Joy is a series on JTTG about small, simple ways to boost the joy in your life.
Go ahead and jump.
On the way home from the park one afternoon a few weeks ago, it started to rain. The girls and I picked up the pace, dodging raindrops as we giggled our way home. Approaching the house, I turned back intent on urging those little legs to move quickly and get inside before we got too wet, inconvenient repercussions foremost in mind. But I stopped short before I said a word: There, in their sweet faces, turned to the heavens, I saw the pure joy I'm always banging on about. They were fully in the moment, alive, drinking in every sensation, open wide to the experience in every way. They were having the time of their lives.
"Can we stay out just one more minute?" they implored, likely doubtful that their too-often by-the-book mama would sanction such an activity.
I took a breath, letting go of thoughts of carpet-drenching footsteps and muddy laundry. There was no lightning. It was bath night anyways.
"Yes. Yes, you can."
I stood in the doorway and watched every stitch of their summer dresses soaking through, every inch of their arms and legs and cheeks basking in the glory of the summer rain, squeals of delight bursting from their gorgeous souls.
After a few minutes, breathless and glowing, they came inside, shedding their clothing at the front door mat and, at their mother's suggestion, flinging it full force down the basement stairs (extra points if they hit the bottom with a satisfying, soggy smack), before jumping into the bubbliest of baths.
Since that time we have twice now ventured out post-rain (having missed the rain itself) in search of the biggest mud puddles we could find to jump into with wild abandon, laundry be damned. I've seen tentative hops and "Really? We can do this?" glances quickly escalate to full-on running leaps designed to displace the most water and mud possible (extra points for splashing mom). I've heard the most beautiful, joyful laughter. And I've heard myself, the one who only a few weeks ago would have admonished "Get out of the puddles! Watch your dress!", shout "Come on! You can get muddier than that!"
And last night, I jumped in too. (They know what it's about, those kids. So much fun!)
Life is short, and these moments are what life is all about. It's not about the laundry. It's about all the mess and joy and fun that creates the laundry. And if you're lucky, you'll have piles of it to do. (Once you peel it, sopping, off the basement floor. And scrub the mud off the ceiling. And teach them better aim.)
Jump for Joy is a new series on JTTG about small, simple ways to boost the joy in your life.
Twirly skirts for bonus points.
When I was a stay-at-home mama, my eldest and I began a tradition we call "morning dance party", which is precisely what it says on the box: we take a few minutes out of an often hectic morning to pump up the jam and kick up our heels. We sometimes take turns teaching each other dance moves, and inevitably we end up holding hands and twirling in a circle until mama is nauseous and announces it's time to freestyle.
In recent years, with an early start to my work day, our dance parties were relegated to the weekend, but now that I'm home (hurrah!), we're back up and moving! My girls have to be out the door for school at 8:30 am, and I'm making it my goal to have us all set for 8:00 am, when possible, so we have plenty of time to jump, jive, and generally have an awesome time together before we head off to our busy days (sorry, downstairs neighbours, but we're having too much fun).
If you have a few minutes, or can make a few minutes, I highly recommend that you turn up the beat and dance yourself into an amazing morning. It's a great way to start the day in a positive way, get active, and introduce the small people to the music of your youth. Might I suggest some Motown Philly?
And listen, this is not just a family thing. On your own? Dance like nobody's watching, because they aren't. (P.S. Morning Dance Party's equally vivacious cousin is Saturday Night Try On All Your Fancy Clothes And Dance Around Your Bedroom Party).
Jump for Joy is a new series on JTTG about small, simple ways to boost the joy in your life.
Oh please don't eat me!
Welcome to Jump for Joy, a new series on JTTG about small, simple ways to boost the joy in your life. The series was inspired by the topic of this first post, a little idea that was so easy and brought so much bang for next to no buck.
Last year, on April Fools Eve, I grabbed a black Sharpie and a set of white, circle stickers bought from the dollar store and anthropomorphized objects all over the house (full credit to Pinterest for the idea). The next morning was greeted by the loveliest laughter as my daughters discovered our curious new housemates. Bonus: the "juice" cups in the photo above were filled with Jello, also a well-received surprise. Nearly a year later, many of these eyes are still up around the house, and they continue to be a source of smiles. For me, they serve as reminders to lighten up and have fun. I mean, how can you stay grumpy when the bannister's looking at you like that?
